"Let Me Check My Fucking Planner"
You've got doctor's appointments, school functions, work commitments, general adulting, things to pick up, things to drop off, people to take places, recitals, games, practices, parties and GOD knows what else to keep up with.
Then you're down on yourself because you forgot to pick up milk at the grocery store?!
Listen, momlife is like roller skating while dressed as a clown, juggling full sippy cups of red juice on white carpet... while you're on fire.
"NOT EASY" is an understatement.
You need all of the help you can get, sister. You need to organize some shit to help you out. Are you going to be perfect once you get organized? Ummmmm, no. But you'll be BETTER. And that's the goal.
Maybe you're a list maker. You make to-do lists and grocery lists and list of the lists that you need to make. But you make the lists on random pieces of paper and then realize just as you step foot into the grocery store... that you left the fucking list on the kitchen counter. Oops.
It'd be cool to have a place where all of your shit is TOGETHER. You know... all of your POOP IN A GROUP :)
Yeah... like a planner. But NORMAL planners at office supply stores aren't really your style. They're all flowery and inspirational with psalms and shit... and there's not ONE damn cuss word or dick joke.
You need a planner that matches your sarcastic, colorful personality. One that has sweary coloring book pages and cocktail recipes. A planner that has a 12 month, undated calendar so you can start it WHEN YOU BUY IT, instead of in January, when it tells you to (fuck you, normal planner!).
It'd also be cool to have things like:
- Can't remember anyone's actual phone number or address? Here's a place to keep them
- Lose passwords on the daily? Here's a place for all of them
- Feel like you spin circles all day and don't accomplish anything? Keep your daily to-do's here
- Random, 2 am thoughts keeping you up? Blank pages for alla that
- Pizza delivery again? NOPE! You've got a place to plan your dinners now!
- Have dreams but can't seem to accomplish them? Now you've got a place for monthly goals and a dream board!
- Ready to start managing your family budget? Keep track of expenses here
- Wanna skydive? Swim with sharks? Smoke pot with Snoop Dogg? Here's a place for your bucket list
All of that and so much more. You're actually going to feel like you'e got your shit together, babe! woohoo!
"Let Me Check My Fucking Planner"
is going to make you more productive, happy, smiley and together. Are you ready?
It's made of bulletproof steel. Just kidding, but it is sturdy enough to withstand being shoved in your bag and wherever else you take it. We know your kids are going to try to nab it too. This colorful reminder that you're imperfect is an awesome reminder too!
We've all got things we want to get done. We all run around like drunken, sleep deprived lunatics trying to get them done too. "Wait... what did I say I wanted to accomplish again?" Yeah... now you won't forget because you're writing it down every month!
When all else fails, pour a cold one (or three) and relax. You rocked the day... or not... who cares? You did your best and that's all anyone can ask of you. We've added a few new, naughty drink recipes for fun so try one or all of them and enjoy 3 minutes of enjoyment.
Here are more details:
How big is it?:
Ha! That's what she said :) The planner will be 8.5x11.
Portrait or landscape layout?:
The layout is portrait but some of the coloring pages are landscape for fun. The calendar pages are two pages per month in portrait.
How is it bound?:
The binding is spiral so that it opens fully (there's a sex joke here, but I'll leave it alone... this time)
Is it full color?:
Yes, the planner is in full color and the coloring pages are DIY for your enjoyment.
How many pages is it?:
We're still in pre-production (which is a fancy way for saying that we're adding more shit daily) but right now the planner is about 50 pages
When will it ship to me?:
Production starts in July so we expect all orders to be shipped in mid August. No worries though, your calendars are blank so you can fill them in for whatever month you get your planner!
Any other questions? Email is email@example.com and we'll get back with you lickety split!