I'm a Mom and FUCK is My Favorite Word

Fuck. Such a useful word, dontcha think?

It can be used to express anger, excitement, surprise or even when you don’t really know what to say. It’s kinda like the spicier ‘supercalifragilisticexpialidocious’. It’s all things and can be used in so many different contexts.

I love it. Yes, even as a mom.

Plus, it’ll make a pearl clutching douche-canoes lose their damn minds… which is super fun. I like to think of that one amazing word as my friend polarization tool, meaning if someone can’t hang with the language I use, they’re probably not my people

Like many middle school kids, I honed in on these colorful words and wondered “what makes them bad?” No one would, or could, answer that question and being a kid of the 80’s (yes, before the internet… GASP!), I never got an answer.

No one knew WHY these words were bad, they just followed what their parents told them which came from what the parents’, parents told them and so on. Lame. So we’re categorizing a handful of words as being “bad” or “taboo” but no one knows why.

I remember that being my very first “what the fuck” moment… probably around age 9 or 10.

That’s when I decided that I wasn’t going to be a sheep and follow a crowd of people who didn’t even know WHY they were or were not doing something, they were just following a blind mass of what was socially acceptable. I suppose this is when I really started raging against the machine… or for this blog’s purposes, telling the status quo to go fuck itself.

If you think about it, some of these words mean the same things as other words that ARE socially acceptable. For instance shit  = poop. Ass = butt. Dick = penis. But one word is “bad” and the other… totally fine.

And in other cases these words mean something totally weird but it’s considered uber offensive. A bitch is a female dog. Cool… I fucking love dogs. Dogs are the shit! But don’t you dare call a woman a bitch or it’s considered an insult of the highest form. Well, besides the next word.

CUNT. What is a cunt? Anyone know? Probably not, we just know that it’s taboo and you should NEVER utter that word. “It’s nasty and I hate that word” as my mother once said. Do a quick Google search of any “bad word” and there are many theories on why they were bad back centuries ago, but no one really seems to know exactly where they came from and why they are bad and if they do, it’s a really dumb reason that doesn’t even apply today.

** PEARL CLUTCHING WARNING** Once I had kids, I didn’t stop swearing. I think the world expects women to squeeze a head out of our vag-hole and become some sort of Mother Mary Poppins figure. Don’t we lose enough of ourselves over the course of motherhood in its entirety! I’ll keep the language that I’m comfortable with, thankyouverymuch! Can I just have that one fucking thing?? Damn kids already turned my once perky tits into tennis balls in a tube sock.

I mean, it’s not like I taught them ‘Fuck’ as their first word or anything, although I think it would be hilarious for a toddler to run through Walmart with a full barrage or colorful vocab. I am more mindful around them, if only for the prevention of them slinging curse words in kindergarten circle time. Let’s be honest, I COULD NOT keep a straight face during that parent teacher conference if a teacher told me that my kid was singing “Hickory Dickory Dock” Andrew Dice Clay style.

But if my kids are singing a song that says ‘damn’ or ‘Hell’ or ‘shit’, I’m not going to lose my mind because there are bigger lessons that I can teach them that, to me, matter much more than some words that society doesn’t like. Like how to be kind and caring people in a world that is going to judge the shit out of them for reasons that are quite frankly lame as fuck.

I’m a mom and FUCK is my favorite word. Get over it.